‘No, no…I won’t be wearing a garter…’

I love a lot of things about weddings…and I dislove a lot, too. Even though there are things I personally don’t love about some weddings, and wouldn’t want them in mine, I really couldn’t care less what people choose to do. I just wanna put that out there.

Besides, I think everyone has their own likes/dislikes when it comes to weddings…and bridal showers. And baby showers. Do not even get me started on what I don’t like about the two BS’s.

DISLOVE…

Why in the world would a bride bring her fiance to help pick out her wedding gown? I see this a lot on Say Yes to the Dress. Superstition aside, the element of surprise is gone. By the same token, I need to rant for a sec:

Where did the whole “I wanna feel like a princess on my wedding day” thing come from? You’re not a princess on that day…you’re a bride. Did this come about because in every fairy tale, the fair maiden’s problems are suddenly over (an evil stepmother, a comatose state, having a tail instead of legs, being held captive by a hairy beast) once they take that walk down the aisle? They’re not if you’re marrying the hairy beast, just so ya know.

I hate the whole bouquet/garter thing. I really do. Especially the garter part. You can’t be a princess and have everyone watch your husband go head-first up your dress. Sorry. Also, whoever catches the garter has to put it on the thigh of the woman who catches the bouquet. At a small wedding…the chances of those two people being related is very high. Cue the dueling banjos.

When the newlyweds are announced, I much prefer them walking in graciously excited as opposed to acting as though they just completed a marathon — pumping their fists and slapping everyone high-five. Also, I cringe when a song by Usher or someone similar is played during this time.

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Drunk moms, bridal mags and annoying twins

It’s Friday! But, you probably already knew that if you signed on to Facebook this morning. Everyone gebridalts “TGIF!” post-happy when Friday rolls around.

I have a bunch of things I’d like to throw at you today, because none of these topics are things I can think about in-depth enough to devote a whole post to them. So, grab your coffee and let’s chat.

Last night, I opened my first bridal magazine. And, it’s pretty (very) exciting for me. I swear I heard angels singing when I turned the cover. Gowns, rings, honeymoons, invitations, flowers, oh my! And, it’s heavy. I may take it to the pool today. It probably will need its own pool pass, though. And flotation device. Continue reading