Sean (The Bachelor) is sooo boring. BORING.

I’ve been watching this season of the Bachelor pretty regularly. And, I often ask myself why I do this to myself.

Some of the girls were interesting/entertaining to watch — even moreso as the amount of wine they threw back increased. BUT — as I found myself being entertained by the drama the women created…I realized something. The guy who they’re all competing against each other for…ya know, the bachelor…well, he is so, so boring.

sean

You can’t look at this picture and not laugh.

First of all…he sells insurance furniture. Zzzzzzzzz.

Secondly, he really doesn’t have a personality. Any time he shares something about his life, his interests and himself…oh, wait. He doesn’t actually do that. What we’ve learned about Sean is that he smiles somewhat like The Joker — a lot — and he also takes his shirt off — a lot — and…that’s it. That is literally it.

As a result, each time one of the remaining women is like, “I’m falling in love with this man” — I literally scream, “HOW?!?!”

I don’t remember a Bachelor being this devoid of a life. We usually get a sense of what they want, who they’re looking for, what they like to do in their spare time and — oh! I just thought of something. Sean is a “born again virgin.” Yep. a born again virgin. Sean isn’t a real virgin, but he no longer believes in sex before marriage. However, he will swap spit with multiple women in one night.

But really, the whole BAV thing might be the most exciting thing about him.

Which, is totally ironic, since it’s not “exciting” for anyone at all.

The Bachelor just keeps getting worse and more amazing

I used to like the idea of the Real Housewives of _____ shows, and I also dabbled in Keeping up with the Ktierraardashians — but my goodness, those housewives never shut.the.flip.up and the Kardashians’ sleepy voices are enough to make me…go to sleep.

After being completely teased, and made to laugh so hard at The Bachelor preview — where the bachelor, Sean, is like, “I liiiike her” as he meets an overly drippy-to-the-point-of-questionably-psychotic-stalker (but only women can tell this about other women) gal in a black dress. And, then it suddenly cuts to the same girl crying hysterically while stomping her feet and shaking her head, saying “I can’t dooooo this…”

Awesome.

Again, only women can tell these things about other women right off the bat.

I love the first episode of The Bachelor/Bachelorette shows, where the famewhores wannabe actors hopefuls looking for love exit the black limousine to meet their potential future spouse. First impressions are very important — so the hopefuls and their gimmicks to get the Bachelor to remember them are so fun to watch. Continue reading