A small plea

begCan we please, puhlease retire the following from existing? I beg. I implore. I beseech you. Their time has come and gone. I’m sure you agree. I’m also pretty sure we have the Kardashian family to blame for a good portion of these.

“That shi** cray.”

“Amazeballs.”

“Ridic.”

“Ridonkulous.”

“Boo-yah.”

Any and every line from The Hangover(s).

“Brother from another mother”/”Sister from another mister.”

ALL SORTS OF BABY TALK. Example: “I luh yew” (I love you)”

“O-M-G.”

“Let’s get crunk.”

“What’s up Chiquita banana?”

“What’s crack-a-lackin?”

“Nada…”

“…chillaxin'”

Thanks for your part in this forced retirement. Feel free to print this blog post out, and carry it in your pocket, handbag, etc., for quick, easy reference. And to spread the word. Together, we can make a difference.

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I literally am not being literal

“ACKcha-ly…” the customer service rep on the other end of the phone began, and I winced. She had alsoliterally snapped her gum earlier in our conversation, so I was already on the edge of my seat, rolling my eyes and holding my other hand down from ripping my hair out.

Then, she gasped. I could sense she had a computer snafu.

“I literally just had it here in front of me…where is it”, she exclaimed.

Literally?!

I wanted to die (not literally).

Why can’t people use this word — and others — properly? And, it’s one thing to be talking with friends, but while doing your job?! Unless you’re a Kardashian, you’re being unprofessional. Because, being stupid is their job — not yours. Continue reading