Can Brian Holloway save *these* 300?

At Home with Stephanie Smith author of Blog 300 Sandwiches andThe blog title? Come on, I had to. Too easy.

ANYWAY.

I’m sure you’ve heard about the woman who, after being told by her boyfriend that she was “300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!”, is in fact making 300 sandwiches in order to get an engagement ring.

If you haven’t heard about it, I’ll wait until you’re done making barf noises before continuing.

Now, I’m not going to jump on the typical feminist bandwagon of trashing the girl and her relationship/marriage goals, and how ill-prepared she and he obviously are for marriage, yadda yadda — as easy as that may be. Because, I sort of see a different side of it.

It’s freakin’ brilliant. Pathetic, but brilliant and I’ll tell you why.

First of all, the woman is NY Post writer Stephanie Smith. So, awesome publicity for her. Secondly, she basically combined the bazillion blogs about relationships/engagement/love and the bazillion blogs about food/cooking/sharing pictures of yogurt cups, in order to make the biggest, fattest blog baby that picks on all the other blog babies on the playground. Continue reading

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Whiny, little (adult) why’s

I think the title of this post says it all, really. But, I’ll tell you what it’s about, just in case.

“Ugh. Whyyyyy” is something I hear and say on a somewhat regular basis. Sometimes, when I say it, I’m looking for an actual answer, and other times I’m just complaining. Other times = most of the time.

dateFor instance…

Whyyyy are a lot of male-sung country songs go something like, “Hey baby, let’s go watch the trains go by” and/or “wanna take you off-roading and stare at the stars” ?? Ummm. Take a girl out to dinner! Or, is that type of wooing strictly reserved for the woman who is later the focus of the cheating-on-your-wife songs? I got y’all figured out, now.

Whyyyy aren’t all store-bought cookies bite-sized? Think about it. There’s really no good reason, right?!

Whyyy do some people use their GPS to get them everywhere…even if they’ve been to that place before? It’s like they obviously didn’t pay attention on how to actually get there, minus the GPS. I mean, once you tell your GPS where you want to go, it’s not like it puts you in auto-pilot and you just sit back and enjoy the ride! I actually know someone who blamed her GPS for getting her lost…while on the way to a place she’d been to just a few days prior.

Continue reading

Guess who?

I would say…at least once every other month, I think/say someone I come in contact with reminds me of a Guess Who? character.

Today, it was Peter.guess who

I think this happens because I played Guess Who? a million times throughout the span of probably 5 years, thanks to having a younger cousin-who-was-more-like-a-brother. It was in heavy rotation with Clue and checkers. And Barbie. Sorry, Christopher.

I’ve seen Maria in the grocery store (she also looks a LOT like ‘old school’ Chris Kapostasy/Jansing, right?!), Paul at the doctor’s office, David at a baseball game, Bill changed my oil a few times, I used to work with Anita and Joe, Alex served me a dirty martini and mussels once, Bernard held the door for me at a Montreal hotel, and Alfred’s mug shot flashed across my TV screen at least six different times.

I’m still hoping to spot a Sam somewhere. That perfectly round head and matching glasses isn’t easy to come by, I guess.

But, the world is filled with Guess Who? characters.

And, I bet you’ll start to notice it now, too.

You’re welcome.

 

 

Where my sidewalk ends

chairsMoving to a new state, neighborhood/area filled with strangers is daunting. But, I feel like we moved here with a positive, friendly and trusting mindset…maybe a little bit too trusting.

I shared the background of this post on Facebook, so I’ll copy/paste it here, in order to make a long story short:

The other day, a group of about 8-10 teen/pre-teen girls walked by our home, on the sidewalk. I was outside, watering the flowers. “I like those chairs!!!” one of the older girls exclaimed enthusiastically, about our two orange porch chairs. “Well, thank you!” I responded, feeling very happily June Cleaverish with my hose and blooming lilies. Naive, I am…because this morning, guess what was missing from our porch? I hope they’re at least enjoying their NEW home.

What I didn’t share then, was that after finding out we had our chairs stolen, the feeling of our new, nice, suburban area with friendly people in it suddenly felt muddled, unsafe — and I even felt exposed and vulnerable just leaving my doorstep to walk Moxie. I also didn’t share that after the girl yelled to me that she liked our chairs, I did get a twinge of alarm in the back of my mind, like maybe I should be putting the chairs away at night, or something. Finally, I also didn’t share that the group of 8-10 girls ranging from approximately 13 years old to 4 years old, without adult supervision, and who were throwing expletives, including the N-word, around to each other, were black. I didn’t share this, because I didn’t think it was important. Continue reading

Don’t do that in the shower!

showercapI remember, years and years ago, a roommate asking me if I could save us money on our water bill — as well as leave more hot water to go around — and shave my legs outside of the shower.

NO.

That was seriously my response. Hey, I’m an only child. When it came to living with other women, it was my way or get out of the way. Besides, I don’t use shaving cream — just a plain ol’ bar of Dove — so that would have been nearly impossible for me. Not to mention a huge inconvenience and a waste of time.

I was online, checking out the reviews for a skincare brush — you know, one of those battery-powered, spinning Clarisonic things that’s supposed to make your face radiant — and I read this review where this woman was all, “I find this hard to use in the shower because it doesn’t come with anything for me to place or hang it on” and I was like, “ARE YOU 7?!” Continue reading

Quickie: One word

NOTDWith everything goin’ on in the world right now — serious and unserious — people sure are sharing their opinions…their very elongated opinions, on news stories, Facebook posts, etc. Usually, I don’t like to read super long comments, but I know it’s hard to convey all the emotions certain things happening evoke in us. And, it’s really hard to find just one word that sums it all up.

But, let’s try. I’ll start it  off.

The Rolling Stone cover of the Boston bombing suspect? Horrifying.

The George Zimmerman trial outcome? Difficult.

The constant “Nails of the Day” feature on sites like Yahoo! Shine and HelloGiggles.com? Tacky. Continue reading

Let’s go back to Kindergarten

helloAs we strolled with Moxie down the sidewalk in our neighborhood, we saw a woman pushing a baby carriage toward us. I led Moxie to the grass alongside the sidewalk so the woman could have the whole sidewalk to be able to pass. When we got close enough, I smiled at her.

“Hello”, I said — still smiling.

She did not respond, smile — nothing. She didn’t even really look at me. She just kept going.

Now, of course this isn’t the first time a “hello” was wasted for me. But, it was the first time it happened here. Back in NY, I expected it. Years ago, I once worked in a place where you could walk by someone and say “good morning” and they would snub you so hard (especially if they were ‘higher’ than you), you felt it in your bones.

This woman on the suburban Illinois sidewalk was Indian, so I couldn’t help but wonder if her culture has something to do with it. I basically was hoping there was a “good” reason why she just coldly walked by us without any sort of acknowledgment. But, still — returning a “hello” is a basic human interaction, so I dismissed that thought almost immediately and chalked her up to just being a rude person. Continue reading