Whiny, little (adult) why’s

I think the title of this post says it all, really. But, I’ll tell you what it’s about, just in case.

“Ugh. Whyyyyy” is something I hear and say on a somewhat regular basis. Sometimes, when I say it, I’m looking for an actual answer, and other times I’m just complaining. Other times = most of the time.

dateFor instance…

Whyyyy are a lot of male-sung country songs go something like, “Hey baby, let’s go watch the trains go by” and/or “wanna take you off-roading and stare at the stars” ?? Ummm. Take a girl out to dinner! Or, is that type of wooing strictly reserved for the woman who is later the focus of the cheating-on-your-wife songs? I got y’all figured out, now.

Whyyyy aren’t all store-bought cookies bite-sized? Think about it. There’s really no good reason, right?!

Whyyy do some people use their GPS to get them everywhere…even if they’ve been to that place before? It’s like they obviously didn’t pay attention on how to actually get there, minus the GPS. I mean, once you tell your GPS where you want to go, it’s not like it puts you in auto-pilot and you just sit back and enjoy the ride! I actually know someone who blamed her GPS for getting her lost…while on the way to a place she’d been to just a few days prior.

Continue reading

No thanks, I eat

gift bagMy mom and I went to a couple bridal shops, to peruse wedding gown styles. In one particular shop, I was handed a gift bag with a pretty bow and “Congratulations!” tag. I said my thanks and we went about our business…which I’ll fill you in on later.

SMILEY FACE SMILEY FACE SMILEY FACE.

When I got home, I opened the gift bag and saw coupons for a bunch of places, a travel sized deodorant, a package of tissues, and two Slimful bars that promise to “satisfy hunger for hours”…so you don’t eat anything else. Like, you know. REAL FOOD.

So, are they saying I’m not supposed to eat real food on the day of my wedding?

I would die. Or,  more realistically…faint. Continue reading

Scary movies, cigarettes and sneakers

I love scary movies. Especially scary movies that revolve around paranormal and don’t rely on blood and gore. This one has a lot of hype around it, so I hope it lives up to it. And, I also sort of hope it doesn’t, because I am already dreading the moment I turn off my nightstand lamp.

I don’t love smokers. Sorry, but it’s true. OK, it’s not completely true, because I really just don’t like the fact that people smoke. And, I really, really don’t like litterers. You knew that already, though. And, when I see people tossing cigarettes to the ground, I go ballistic. So, when I realized my neighbors were doing just that…and letting them accumulate to the point of smelling and the butts blowing onto our lawn — I took action. Instead of what I wanted to do (confront them personally and let them know how much I don’t appreciate it, AKA letting my emotions get the best of me), I called the property management and politely and firmly complained. We’ll see. Continue reading

Better and worse

good kidSo far, there are things I miss about “back home” — not people, I miss everyone — but, things that give me little pangs of homesickness. But, then I find something that’s “better” than back home and I think, OK. We can do this.

People discipline their kids here. And, the kids listen. For example, at our pool, if a child is screaming too loudly, or splashing — their parents go “ssshh” or “OK, I warned you. Timeout time.” And, the kids actually respect that without question. It’s amazing to actually be able to enjoy the pool without earbuds up all the way. I literally almost fell out of my chair the first time I witnessed it. I leaned over to see what the kid’s reaction was going to be and when there was none — I lost my balance a bit. Back in NY, I’ve had many community pools where this simply did not happen. Kids ruled the pool and all adults there had to deal with their bad behavior. So, better.

A really good news site. I love the Chicago Tribune. It’s kind of like the TU. It has a great layout — it’s easy to navigate and all the info you want to know is right up front. But, I don’t live right in Chicago. So, for the suburbs, I have TribLocal or the Daily Herald. I got so excited when I saw the DH had blogs. Then, I clicked on it and found out they’re all about sports. ALL OF THEM. I even tweeted the DH to ask why they don’t have lifestyle blogs. I got crickets back. So, worse. Continue reading

What the (expletive)?

The title of this post says it all. So, let’s jump right in.

Why are all the Toddlers and Tiaras moms incredibly unkempt? You’d think they’d be a little bit more obsessed with — or at least concerned with — their own looks. Most of them look as though they just rolled ousirit of  bed and perhaps haven’t showered in a day or two.

Siri. She has always annoyed me, and I know it might sound crazy, but I don’t think she likes me. I can hear it in her tone. And lately — she’s been getting me lost. I asked her to find me a PetSmart and she brought me to the middle of a residential development. I asked her to find me a Marshalls and she told me that I arrived at my destination while I was still in the middle of the highway. I think she’s doing it on purpose and I hate her.

Things — in general — are slower here in IL than in NY. Speed limits, restaurant service and even just how people talk. Slower. Continue reading

Mayonnaise and Saved by the Bell

Whenever someone asks what my favorite food is, I normally say pizza or Fettuccine Alfredo. But, I always seem to forget how much I love picnic food until summertime rolls around.i_love_mayo_tshirt-r11d051a97c6f460ab2c03233c3bbbc24_8naxt_216

I love a good hot dog. You don’t even want to know how many hot dogs I could eat in one sitting if dared to. (Please dare me, please dare me — all I need is a reason). And cheeseburgers. Yowza. A little ketchup, mustard — and mayo, of course. Burger Heaven.

I always hear a lot of gagging noises when I say how much I love mayonnaise. But, I’m convinced those noises are only because everyone always talks about how fattening and bad for you it is. And, because it wiggles when it’s on a spoon and that’s just weird. However, I think people love mayo more than they ever let on. How could you not love potato or macaroni salad? That’s so un-American, especially around the 4th of July. (SN: You know whose mac salad I always hated? Price Chopper’s. Soup city.) Continue reading

I will NOT miss…

no_thumbs_down_sticker-rd029915fddbd4d6f923e1ba231ff8d14_v9waf_8byvr_512Route 4. AT ALL. I remember when Route 4 was suburban and actually a very nice drive. Not anymore. It’s pure stress and annoyance.

Local radio stations. I’m sorry, but there’s only like, 5 listenable (to me) radio stations in this area and all 5 are almost always playing commercials at the exact same time. And, when they’re not, 3 of them are playing the same song. You would think they could do something to work together and figure that timing thing out. And…why does every radio station have to have a morning show? Sure, there are mornings I don’t feel like listening to music, but can’t we pick one station for a morning show? In other words, does the Elvis Duran show really need to exist? No. And, where I’ll be in IL, they don’t.

Pearl Street. What happened?! Continue reading