A small plea

begCan we please, puhlease retire the following from existing? I beg. I implore. I beseech you. Their time has come and gone. I’m sure you agree. I’m also pretty sure we have the Kardashian family to blame for a good portion of these.

“That shi** cray.”

“Amazeballs.”

“Ridic.”

“Ridonkulous.”

“Boo-yah.”

Any and every line from The Hangover(s).

“Brother from another mother”/”Sister from another mister.”

ALL SORTS OF BABY TALK. Example: “I luh yew” (I love you)”

“O-M-G.”

“Let’s get crunk.”

“What’s up Chiquita banana?”

“What’s crack-a-lackin?”

“Nada…”

“…chillaxin'”

Thanks for your part in this forced retirement. Feel free to print this blog post out, and carry it in your pocket, handbag, etc., for quick, easy reference. And to spread the word. Together, we can make a difference.

Lady, Gag-me

gaga-1-072313-400x300Remember in gym class, when your gym teacher would say something like, “OK…we’re gonna run a mile. Now, pace yourself, because you don’t want to sprint and tire out too soon”?

I think Lady Gaga sprinted right out of the gate and now she’s crawling to the finish line.

Shock value is great when it’s sporadic, unpredictable and on-topic/relevant. Otherwise, it looks like you’re trying too hard, you run out of material and thus — can’t one-up yourself at a steady pace.

JUST A HEADS-UP…the bottom half of the photo above is below, after the jump. Continue reading

Scary movies, cigarettes and sneakers

I love scary movies. Especially scary movies that revolve around paranormal and don’t rely on blood and gore. This one has a lot of hype around it, so I hope it lives up to it. And, I also sort of hope it doesn’t, because I am already dreading the moment I turn off my nightstand lamp.

I don’t love smokers. Sorry, but it’s true. OK, it’s not completely true, because I really just don’t like the fact that people smoke. And, I really, really don’t like litterers. You knew that already, though. And, when I see people tossing cigarettes to the ground, I go ballistic. So, when I realized my neighbors were doing just that…and letting them accumulate to the point of smelling and the butts blowing onto our lawn — I took action. Instead of what I wanted to do (confront them personally and let them know how much I don’t appreciate it, AKA letting my emotions get the best of me), I called the property management and politely and firmly complained. We’ll see. Continue reading

Quickie: One word

NOTDWith everything goin’ on in the world right now — serious and unserious — people sure are sharing their opinions…their very elongated opinions, on news stories, Facebook posts, etc. Usually, I don’t like to read super long comments, but I know it’s hard to convey all the emotions certain things happening evoke in us. And, it’s really hard to find just one word that sums it all up.

But, let’s try. I’ll start it  off.

The Rolling Stone cover of the Boston bombing suspect? Horrifying.

The George Zimmerman trial outcome? Difficult.

The constant “Nails of the Day” feature on sites like Yahoo! Shine and HelloGiggles.com? Tacky. Continue reading

Better and worse

good kidSo far, there are things I miss about “back home” — not people, I miss everyone — but, things that give me little pangs of homesickness. But, then I find something that’s “better” than back home and I think, OK. We can do this.

People discipline their kids here. And, the kids listen. For example, at our pool, if a child is screaming too loudly, or splashing — their parents go “ssshh” or “OK, I warned you. Timeout time.” And, the kids actually respect that without question. It’s amazing to actually be able to enjoy the pool without earbuds up all the way. I literally almost fell out of my chair the first time I witnessed it. I leaned over to see what the kid’s reaction was going to be and when there was none — I lost my balance a bit. Back in NY, I’ve had many community pools where this simply did not happen. Kids ruled the pool and all adults there had to deal with their bad behavior. So, better.

A really good news site. I love the Chicago Tribune. It’s kind of like the TU. It has a great layout — it’s easy to navigate and all the info you want to know is right up front. But, I don’t live right in Chicago. So, for the suburbs, I have TribLocal or the Daily Herald. I got so excited when I saw the DH had blogs. Then, I clicked on it and found out they’re all about sports. ALL OF THEM. I even tweeted the DH to ask why they don’t have lifestyle blogs. I got crickets back. So, worse. Continue reading

What the (expletive)?

The title of this post says it all. So, let’s jump right in.

Why are all the Toddlers and Tiaras moms incredibly unkempt? You’d think they’d be a little bit more obsessed with — or at least concerned with — their own looks. Most of them look as though they just rolled ousirit of  bed and perhaps haven’t showered in a day or two.

Siri. She has always annoyed me, and I know it might sound crazy, but I don’t think she likes me. I can hear it in her tone. And lately — she’s been getting me lost. I asked her to find me a PetSmart and she brought me to the middle of a residential development. I asked her to find me a Marshalls and she told me that I arrived at my destination while I was still in the middle of the highway. I think she’s doing it on purpose and I hate her.

Things — in general — are slower here in IL than in NY. Speed limits, restaurant service and even just how people talk. Slower. Continue reading

Who run the world?

wendy davis

This ain’t Spanx, sweetheart.

Again, I can’t help but think Beyonce and I are connected somehow. We really have so much in common.

Kidding. On the serious, though, I seem to come up with a Bey reference for a lot of things in life, using a lyric of hers in conversation. The most recent (and perhaps most predictably corny) one?

“Where should I put this…here?” Continue reading