Define: Home

I didn’t feel like doing anything that day. I even took Moxie for quick, business-only walks. I sat in my oversize sweatshirt and leggings and mindlessly watched reruns of Chopped. It was a Sunday afternoon, and I told myself it was a “good day to be lazy.”homesick

But, in reality — I knew I was lying to myself. I was close to looking like a Cymbalta commercial, because I was very homesick. And, we had only been in Chicagoland for a couple of weeks.

I forcibly freshened myself up, shook it off and ran errands/did laundry/made dinner and felt better. But, not after a good, minute-long cry in the arms of my supportive and loving fiance. I cried for “just a minute”, like my mom always reminded me, for anything beyond that is excessive and winds up throwing you right back to where you started.

While I was snapping myself back into shape, I thought about the word “homesick” — and the word “home” even more.

Where is my home? I mean, I live here. But, my family is in NY. So, do I have two homes, I asked myself.

When you’re growing up, you go on vacation, away to school, move out on your own for the first time…but you know you can always go home (to your old room and the comfort of your parents). But, by the time you are engaged to be married and maybe even just so happen to move to another state, you’re building a life, a familya home, together. Continue reading

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Whiny, little (adult) why’s

I think the title of this post says it all, really. But, I’ll tell you what it’s about, just in case.

“Ugh. Whyyyyy” is something I hear and say on a somewhat regular basis. Sometimes, when I say it, I’m looking for an actual answer, and other times I’m just complaining. Other times = most of the time.

dateFor instance…

Whyyyy are a lot of male-sung country songs go something like, “Hey baby, let’s go watch the trains go by” and/or “wanna take you off-roading and stare at the stars” ?? Ummm. Take a girl out to dinner! Or, is that type of wooing strictly reserved for the woman who is later the focus of the cheating-on-your-wife songs? I got y’all figured out, now.

Whyyyy aren’t all store-bought cookies bite-sized? Think about it. There’s really no good reason, right?!

Whyyy do some people use their GPS to get them everywhere…even if they’ve been to that place before? It’s like they obviously didn’t pay attention on how to actually get there, minus the GPS. I mean, once you tell your GPS where you want to go, it’s not like it puts you in auto-pilot and you just sit back and enjoy the ride! I actually know someone who blamed her GPS for getting her lost…while on the way to a place she’d been to just a few days prior.

Continue reading

No thanks, I eat

gift bagMy mom and I went to a couple bridal shops, to peruse wedding gown styles. In one particular shop, I was handed a gift bag with a pretty bow and “Congratulations!” tag. I said my thanks and we went about our business…which I’ll fill you in on later.

SMILEY FACE SMILEY FACE SMILEY FACE.

When I got home, I opened the gift bag and saw coupons for a bunch of places, a travel sized deodorant, a package of tissues, and two Slimful bars that promise to “satisfy hunger for hours”…so you don’t eat anything else. Like, you know. REAL FOOD.

So, are they saying I’m not supposed to eat real food on the day of my wedding?

I would die. Or,  more realistically…faint. Continue reading

Unloading

suitcaseHere are some thoughts I recently had/have, and want to get rid of. Enjoy.

I found myself looking at a $20 bill in my hand the other day, thinking about how it now gives me anxiety, because back in “the day”, holding $20 felt like freedom. You could spend a whole day with your friends on twenty bucks. But, now…you order a couple of cocktails and boom — you’re reaching back into your wallet to get the bartender’s tip. It just seems like you have to really make money stretch as far as it can go, so that you literally get your money’s worth.

I wish people on Facebook would end their posts on a positive note, so that when people “like” it, it doesn’t look strange. Example: “RIP Uncle Bobbo” LIKE (that he died) would become “RIP Uncle Bobbo, I am blessed to have been able to call such a wonderful man my family.” LIKE (that he was so nice).

Speaking of Facebook and/or social media…

I love that people often use emojis now, instead of words, to describe their thoughts. Example: using a thumbs-up or a peace sign or an emoticon to convey their feelings on whatever they’re posting about. It gets to the point faster, and oddly enough – seems to paint a better picture of their personality than if they babbled on about it. Continue reading

Where my sidewalk ends

chairsMoving to a new state, neighborhood/area filled with strangers is daunting. But, I feel like we moved here with a positive, friendly and trusting mindset…maybe a little bit too trusting.

I shared the background of this post on Facebook, so I’ll copy/paste it here, in order to make a long story short:

The other day, a group of about 8-10 teen/pre-teen girls walked by our home, on the sidewalk. I was outside, watering the flowers. “I like those chairs!!!” one of the older girls exclaimed enthusiastically, about our two orange porch chairs. “Well, thank you!” I responded, feeling very happily June Cleaverish with my hose and blooming lilies. Naive, I am…because this morning, guess what was missing from our porch? I hope they’re at least enjoying their NEW home.

What I didn’t share then, was that after finding out we had our chairs stolen, the feeling of our new, nice, suburban area with friendly people in it suddenly felt muddled, unsafe — and I even felt exposed and vulnerable just leaving my doorstep to walk Moxie. I also didn’t share that after the girl yelled to me that she liked our chairs, I did get a twinge of alarm in the back of my mind, like maybe I should be putting the chairs away at night, or something. Finally, I also didn’t share that the group of 8-10 girls ranging from approximately 13 years old to 4 years old, without adult supervision, and who were throwing expletives, including the N-word, around to each other, were black. I didn’t share this, because I didn’t think it was important. Continue reading

‘No, no…I won’t be wearing a garter…’

I love a lot of things about weddings…and I dislove a lot, too. Even though there are things I personally don’t love about some weddings, and wouldn’t want them in mine, I really couldn’t care less what people choose to do. I just wanna put that out there.

Besides, I think everyone has their own likes/dislikes when it comes to weddings…and bridal showers. And baby showers. Do not even get me started on what I don’t like about the two BS’s.

DISLOVE…

Why in the world would a bride bring her fiance to help pick out her wedding gown? I see this a lot on Say Yes to the Dress. Superstition aside, the element of surprise is gone. By the same token, I need to rant for a sec:

Where did the whole “I wanna feel like a princess on my wedding day” thing come from? You’re not a princess on that day…you’re a bride. Did this come about because in every fairy tale, the fair maiden’s problems are suddenly over (an evil stepmother, a comatose state, having a tail instead of legs, being held captive by a hairy beast) once they take that walk down the aisle? They’re not if you’re marrying the hairy beast, just so ya know.

I hate the whole bouquet/garter thing. I really do. Especially the garter part. You can’t be a princess and have everyone watch your husband go head-first up your dress. Sorry. Also, whoever catches the garter has to put it on the thigh of the woman who catches the bouquet. At a small wedding…the chances of those two people being related is very high. Cue the dueling banjos.

When the newlyweds are announced, I much prefer them walking in graciously excited as opposed to acting as though they just completed a marathon — pumping their fists and slapping everyone high-five. Also, I cringe when a song by Usher or someone similar is played during this time.

Continue reading

A small plea

begCan we please, puhlease retire the following from existing? I beg. I implore. I beseech you. Their time has come and gone. I’m sure you agree. I’m also pretty sure we have the Kardashian family to blame for a good portion of these.

“That shi** cray.”

“Amazeballs.”

“Ridic.”

“Ridonkulous.”

“Boo-yah.”

Any and every line from The Hangover(s).

“Brother from another mother”/”Sister from another mister.”

ALL SORTS OF BABY TALK. Example: “I luh yew” (I love you)”

“O-M-G.”

“Let’s get crunk.”

“What’s up Chiquita banana?”

“What’s crack-a-lackin?”

“Nada…”

“…chillaxin'”

Thanks for your part in this forced retirement. Feel free to print this blog post out, and carry it in your pocket, handbag, etc., for quick, easy reference. And to spread the word. Together, we can make a difference.