A simple ‘OK’ would have sufficed

quinnI’m not a fan of long text messages and emails. That might be one reason why I like Twitter. If you can’t express your thought and/or comment in 140 characters or less, you really should think harder before sharing it.

Think of how a long text/email would be in-person…lienhanced-buzz-28459-1380130392-4ke someone just standing in front of you, blathering on about things without pausing for you to respond.

Crazy people do that.

Speaking of crazy…while I’m not a fan of long texts/emails…I am a fan of crazy single-and-dating women, and the insane things they do. It’s better than a Real Housewives marathon.

And, this woman is all sorts of crazy.

Quinn Woodward Pu (pictured above) apparently went on a first date with a guy, then invited him to a birthday party she was hosting. That right there says “I move fast.”

So, the guy sent her an “I’m not feelin’ it” text (also above). But, Crazy Quinn didn’t like that. So, she responded, also via text. Get comfy. Continue reading

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Can Brian Holloway save *these* 300?

At Home with Stephanie Smith author of Blog 300 Sandwiches andThe blog title? Come on, I had to. Too easy.

ANYWAY.

I’m sure you’ve heard about the woman who, after being told by her boyfriend that she was “300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!”, is in fact making 300 sandwiches in order to get an engagement ring.

If you haven’t heard about it, I’ll wait until you’re done making barf noises before continuing.

Now, I’m not going to jump on the typical feminist bandwagon of trashing the girl and her relationship/marriage goals, and how ill-prepared she and he obviously are for marriage, yadda yadda — as easy as that may be. Because, I sort of see a different side of it.

It’s freakin’ brilliant. Pathetic, but brilliant and I’ll tell you why.

First of all, the woman is NY Post writer Stephanie Smith. So, awesome publicity for her. Secondly, she basically combined the bazillion blogs about relationships/engagement/love and the bazillion blogs about food/cooking/sharing pictures of yogurt cups, in order to make the biggest, fattest blog baby that picks on all the other blog babies on the playground. Continue reading

Whiny, little (adult) why’s

I think the title of this post says it all, really. But, I’ll tell you what it’s about, just in case.

“Ugh. Whyyyyy” is something I hear and say on a somewhat regular basis. Sometimes, when I say it, I’m looking for an actual answer, and other times I’m just complaining. Other times = most of the time.

dateFor instance…

Whyyyy are a lot of male-sung country songs go something like, “Hey baby, let’s go watch the trains go by” and/or “wanna take you off-roading and stare at the stars” ?? Ummm. Take a girl out to dinner! Or, is that type of wooing strictly reserved for the woman who is later the focus of the cheating-on-your-wife songs? I got y’all figured out, now.

Whyyyy aren’t all store-bought cookies bite-sized? Think about it. There’s really no good reason, right?!

Whyyy do some people use their GPS to get them everywhere…even if they’ve been to that place before? It’s like they obviously didn’t pay attention on how to actually get there, minus the GPS. I mean, once you tell your GPS where you want to go, it’s not like it puts you in auto-pilot and you just sit back and enjoy the ride! I actually know someone who blamed her GPS for getting her lost…while on the way to a place she’d been to just a few days prior.

Continue reading

Guess who?

I would say…at least once every other month, I think/say someone I come in contact with reminds me of a Guess Who? character.

Today, it was Peter.guess who

I think this happens because I played Guess Who? a million times throughout the span of probably 5 years, thanks to having a younger cousin-who-was-more-like-a-brother. It was in heavy rotation with Clue and checkers. And Barbie. Sorry, Christopher.

I’ve seen Maria in the grocery store (she also looks a LOT like ‘old school’ Chris Kapostasy/Jansing, right?!), Paul at the doctor’s office, David at a baseball game, Bill changed my oil a few times, I used to work with Anita and Joe, Alex served me a dirty martini and mussels once, Bernard held the door for me at a Montreal hotel, and Alfred’s mug shot flashed across my TV screen at least six different times.

I’m still hoping to spot a Sam somewhere. That perfectly round head and matching glasses isn’t easy to come by, I guess.

But, the world is filled with Guess Who? characters.

And, I bet you’ll start to notice it now, too.

You’re welcome.

 

 

A small plea

begCan we please, puhlease retire the following from existing? I beg. I implore. I beseech you. Their time has come and gone. I’m sure you agree. I’m also pretty sure we have the Kardashian family to blame for a good portion of these.

“That shi** cray.”

“Amazeballs.”

“Ridic.”

“Ridonkulous.”

“Boo-yah.”

Any and every line from The Hangover(s).

“Brother from another mother”/”Sister from another mister.”

ALL SORTS OF BABY TALK. Example: “I luh yew” (I love you)”

“O-M-G.”

“Let’s get crunk.”

“What’s up Chiquita banana?”

“What’s crack-a-lackin?”

“Nada…”

“…chillaxin'”

Thanks for your part in this forced retirement. Feel free to print this blog post out, and carry it in your pocket, handbag, etc., for quick, easy reference. And to spread the word. Together, we can make a difference.

Don’t do that in the shower!

showercapI remember, years and years ago, a roommate asking me if I could save us money on our water bill — as well as leave more hot water to go around — and shave my legs outside of the shower.

NO.

That was seriously my response. Hey, I’m an only child. When it came to living with other women, it was my way or get out of the way. Besides, I don’t use shaving cream — just a plain ol’ bar of Dove — so that would have been nearly impossible for me. Not to mention a huge inconvenience and a waste of time.

I was online, checking out the reviews for a skincare brush — you know, one of those battery-powered, spinning Clarisonic things that’s supposed to make your face radiant — and I read this review where this woman was all, “I find this hard to use in the shower because it doesn’t come with anything for me to place or hang it on” and I was like, “ARE YOU 7?!” Continue reading

Quickie: One word

NOTDWith everything goin’ on in the world right now — serious and unserious — people sure are sharing their opinions…their very elongated opinions, on news stories, Facebook posts, etc. Usually, I don’t like to read super long comments, but I know it’s hard to convey all the emotions certain things happening evoke in us. And, it’s really hard to find just one word that sums it all up.

But, let’s try. I’ll start it  off.

The Rolling Stone cover of the Boston bombing suspect? Horrifying.

The George Zimmerman trial outcome? Difficult.

The constant “Nails of the Day” feature on sites like Yahoo! Shine and HelloGiggles.com? Tacky. Continue reading