No thanks, I eat

gift bagMy mom and I went to a couple bridal shops, to peruse wedding gown styles. In one particular shop, I was handed a gift bag with a pretty bow and “Congratulations!” tag. I said my thanks and we went about our business…which I’ll fill you in on later.

SMILEY FACE SMILEY FACE SMILEY FACE.

When I got home, I opened the gift bag and saw coupons for a bunch of places, a travel sized deodorant, a package of tissues, and two Slimful bars that promise to “satisfy hunger for hours”…so you don’t eat anything else. Like, you know. REAL FOOD.

So, are they saying I’m not supposed to eat real food on the day of my wedding?

I would die. Or,  more realistically…faint.

Breakfast food is my favorite, and I don’t mean a system-cleansing chia seed smoothie, Greek yogurt and measured berries. I’m talking eggs, pancakes, potatoes, bacon and coffee. Sometimes all at once. So, I couldn’t imagine enjoying LBPsuch a special day on an empty stomach. I couldn’t imagine anyone else enjoying it, either. I’m your worst nightmare when I’m hungry.

Maybe I’m missing something, and studies have shown that brides should be eating something light-yet-filling on their big day, or something. Thus — this bar being a great option.

The confusing part, though, is that Slimful’s site says the best time to consume a Slimful bar is before dinner. Surely, this bridal shop isn’t suggesting a bride skip her wedding reception dinner, are they?! So…they must be insinuating that their brides should consider Slimful as a (in my opinion, unsafe, unhealthy and unrealistic) method in order to lose some weight for their big day.

Hmmpf. Nothing like giving a bride-to-be a bag containing bad body image suggestions and the means to potentially develop an eating disorder during an already pretty stressful — albeit extremely happy — time and calling it a gift.

So, thanks anyway. Those bars went right in the trash. I would have much preferred to look in that bag and find a coupon for half off a Lumberjack Breakfast Platter.

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4 thoughts on “No thanks, I eat

  1. Love this! I ate 3 eggs, toast, home fries, bacon and coffee on my wedding morning! Ask my bridesmaids what they ate? I giggle… Fruit and 2 eggs! Why not start one of the best says of your life off with your favorite food.

  2. I barely ate or drank anything at my wedding, as I constantly was being pulled this way and that to visit with guests. I couldn’t even tell you what was served. When I finally scored an adult beverage at the end of the night, I put it down for .02 seconds and it was dumped out. Awesome. At least I made up for it on the honeymoon.

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