Don’t date me yet

1219-engaged-woman-with-friends_weThe big move to Chi-city (I will never, ever call it that without being somewhat joking/impersonating a rapper) and getting engaged have often been news I’ve shared at the same time. So, it usually went like this:

Me: “We got engaged!”

Them:    🙂

Me: “…and we’re moving to Chicago!”

Them:   😦 but  🙂 … but  :(. Did you set a wedding date, yet? 🙂

And, to be honest, I’d feel a bit deflated — like they were saying, “OK I’m over your engagement news, so happy for ya, blah blah, nice ring, yep, blah…IT’S NOT REAL UNMoving-boxes2.7445211_stdLESS YOU HAVE A WEDDING DATE.”

And, my smile would either fade or just stay plastered on my face while my head would just shake “no”, because…we’re moving to Chicago. I guess I just also have packing, the drive out there, the new place and new area, the new job, decorating the new place, Moxie’s acclimation to the new place, finding new doctors, etc. etc. on my mind. I mean, I think it makes sense to actually get there and get settled before thinking about a wedding, no? Maybe I’m wrong, because when I’ve explained that to a couple people (women), they would just smile blankly, nod and shrug without saying a word.

stressful-engaged-nashville-bride-helpI know about the standard  year-long (or so) engagement, and I understand wedding gowns can take 6-8 months, so I’m aware of the timeline. And, I’ve been dying to dive into bridal magazines, but then I think, that’s just one more thing to pack…and I’ve already thrown out, like, 100 magazines.

Every time I see one, it’s torture.

But, I expected to be asked the date question, really. I mean, everyone knows the very millisecond after a woman gets engaged, everyone — from her friends to colleagues to dental hygienist (seriously, that happened to me this a.m. with the sucker tube in my mouth) — asks “Did you set a date, yet?” It just seems to be the natural progression in that conversation. Even if I’ve never asked it. Nope. Never have. I’m usually too focused on the ring and her smiling to care when stock-footage-pretty-young-woman-relaxing-in-swimming-pooltheir nuptials are. Shiny things are distracting, ya know.

By asking the date question so quickly, it’s almost as if we assume she’s been planning her wedding — down to the exact date — before he even slid the ring on her finger. Which, in some cases, may be true. And, while I personally have ideas and certain things I want/don’t want — I’m not freaking out about booking the perfect venue, making sure the best florist and photographer are available for when I want them to be. I don’t like stress. Or bridezillas.

And, I just think a little wallowing and marinating in engagement happiness is necessary.

I’m currently doing the backstroke.


4 thoughts on “Don’t date me yet

  1. I totally agree! I just got engaged a few months ago, and I almost DREAD the “have you set a date”question. No, I have not! We are just happy and enjoying being engaged and together, and we will eventually start planning. Dont rush me! 🙂

  2. Yes, you should definitely focus on the move to Chicago, unpack once you get there, and get settled for a little bit before diving into the wedding planning.

  3. I understand waiting awhile to plan. However if you are planning on getting married in the Albany area it wouldnt hurt to look at places before you move vs having to take several trips back after moving to Chicago. Just sayin’

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