The big move to Chi-city (I will never, ever call it that without being somewhat joking/impersonating a rapper) and getting engaged have often been news I’ve shared at the same time. So, it usually went like this:
Me: “We got engaged!”
Me: “…and we’re moving to Chicago!”
Them: 😦 but 🙂 … but :(. Did you set a wedding date, yet? 🙂
And, my smile would either fade or just stay plastered on my face while my head would just shake “no”, because…we’re moving to Chicago. I guess I just also have packing, the drive out there, the new place and new area, the new job, decorating the new place, Moxie’s acclimation to the new place, finding new doctors, etc. etc. on my mind. I mean, I think it makes sense to actually get there and get settled before thinking about a wedding, no? Maybe I’m wrong, because when I’ve explained that to a couple people (women), they would just smile blankly, nod and shrug without saying a word.
I know about the standard year-long (or so) engagement, and I understand wedding gowns can take 6-8 months, so I’m aware of the timeline. And, I’ve been dying to dive into bridal magazines, but then I think, that’s just one more thing to pack…and I’ve already thrown out, like, 100 magazines.
Every time I see one, it’s torture.
But, I expected to be asked the date question, really. I mean, everyone knows the very millisecond after a woman gets engaged, everyone — from her friends to colleagues to dental hygienist (seriously, that happened to me this a.m. with the sucker tube in my mouth) — asks “Did you set a date, yet?” It just seems to be the natural progression in that conversation. Even if I’ve never asked it. Nope. Never have. I’m usually too focused on the ring and her smiling to care when their nuptials are. Shiny things are distracting, ya know.
By asking the date question so quickly, it’s almost as if we assume she’s been planning her wedding — down to the exact date — before he even slid the ring on her finger. Which, in some cases, may be true. And, while I personally have ideas and certain things I want/don’t want — I’m not freaking out about booking the perfect venue, making sure the best florist and photographer are available for when I want them to be. I don’t like stress. Or bridezillas.
And, I just think a little wallowing and marinating in engagement happiness is necessary.
I’m currently doing the backstroke.