The Bachelor just keeps getting worse and more amazing

I used to like the idea of the Real Housewives of _____ shows, and I also dabbled in Keeping up with the Ktierraardashians — but my goodness, those housewives never shut.the.flip.up and the Kardashians’ sleepy voices are enough to make me…go to sleep.

After being completely teased, and made to laugh so hard at The Bachelor preview — where the bachelor, Sean, is like, “I liiiike her” as he meets an overly drippy-to-the-point-of-questionably-psychotic-stalker (but only women can tell this about other women) gal in a black dress. And, then it suddenly cuts to the same girl crying hysterically while stomping her feet and shaking her head, saying “I can’t dooooo this…”

Awesome.

Again, only women can tell these things about other women right off the bat.

I love the first episode of The Bachelor/Bachelorette shows, where the famewhores wannabe actors hopefuls looking for love exit the black limousine to meet their potential future spouse. First impressions are very important — so the hopefuls and their gimmicks to get the Bachelor to remember them are so fun to watch.

While dressed in a full-length gown, one girl did a failed backflip. Hilarious. I don’t know if she planned to land on her head in order to gain sympathy points, but if she did — go, girl.

wedding gownAnother girl showed up in a wedding gown. Oh, my gosh. She’s nuts. When Sean gave her forced props for her choice of attire, she exclaimed “I got balls!” Just what every man wants to hear from a woman wearing a wedding dress.

Kacie B (from Ben’s season) showed up with her wittle baby face, looking like a 12-year-old dressed inappropriately as a hooker for Halloween. Awkwardly hilarious and cringe-worthy. I need to show you this dress. See? Shameful.

While some things remain the same — like of of course there’s a divorced mom (of two), a model, a woman with one arm and a gaggle of women with made-up jobs like “Jumbotron Specialist” or something like that — I notice that over the seasons, the cat fights get meaner, the flirting gets cornier, the kisses get more awkward, the teeth get whiter, the boobs get bigger, the Bachelor gets dumber and my wine glass gets fuller.

I hate that I love it so much.

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7 thoughts on “The Bachelor just keeps getting worse and more amazing

  1. Who did you like out of all the girls? I think Tierra is going to be the next Courtney this season. I thought she was a little too giddy and fake in her intro tape.

    • Amanda replies: I agree that Tierra is definitely the next Courtney. There’s always one! And, Sean giving her the rose right off the bat completely gave her a big head. Bad move. I like Diana and Desiree and Sarah. I thought they were the most “normal” and likable so far. Who’s your picks?

      • None of the people have really struck me that much. I think Robyn is very funny, I like Sarah, Kacie, and Lesley. Catherine and Diana seem very nice as well.

  2. #1-YAY, you’re back! I don’t know were you’ve been all this time, but since I’m not a stalkerazzi like the aforementioned famewhores, I’m not going to stalk you and just be glad (I’ve found you) you’re here! You’ve been missed!
    #2-Now you’ve got me all pumped up for this season! I dvr’d the premiere since I knew I wouldn’t be able to watch it uninterrupted on Monday (aka out of earshot of mocking men!). And now the anticipation is reaching epic proportions! I mean, backflips?! Wedding gowns?! (although dare I recall that’s been done before?) 12 year old Halloween whores?! What more can a gal ask for?! I still don’t think anyone can top Lindsey riding in on a horse in Ben’s season, but one can hope. I always liked Kacie B….I swear if he had picked her in his season they would still be together. Unlike that Courtney b*&ch! Ughhh…..WHY can’t men see these things like we can????! Cheers! Should be a good one! 😉

  3. I’m just glad he sent that crazy 50 Shades of Grey skank packing. Man she was nuts! I’m like a moth to a flame with these types of shows. Mrs. Confused loves to watch. I rib her constantly about watching them but being the pushover that I am; I usually sit and watch them with her. Then I find myself invested. I think we are fascinated with these types of shows because it reiterates that crazy, dysfunctional, and nasty are common amongst all “social classes”, income levels, and families.

    I kinda cheered when the “crusie entertainer” got the boot as well. Her singing annoyed me. As for the backflips … WTF? I was kind of hoping she pulled a hamstring. And when the wedding dress gal said “I’ve got balls”, I spit my diet root beer out when he said in response, “Well I hope not”!

  4. Thank GOD you’re watching this show. I can get enough of how you describe these girls, you couldn’t be more right. Love!

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